Worst Last Names: A Comprehensive Guide to Unfortunate Surnames

Are you curious about the most unfortunate last names in the world? Maybe you're looking for a laugh, or perhaps you're just fascinated by the quirks of language. Whatever your reason, we've compiled a comprehensive list of last names that are sure to make you chuckle, cringe, or even feel a little bit sorry for the people who bear them. From the blatantly obvious to the subtly suggestive, these names are sure to make you think twice about the power of a good surname.
1. **Ass: ** A common surname in England and Germany, derived from the Old English word "ass" meaning "donkey." It can also be a nickname for someone who is stubborn or foolish.
2. **Balls: ** A surname of English origin, likely derived from the Middle English word "balle," meaning "ball." It may have been given to someone who worked with balls of wool or yarn, or who was known for their round shape.
3. **Bateman: ** This English surname comes from the Old English word "bate" meaning "to improve" and "man," meaning "man." It likely referred to someone who was skilled at improving things or who was a craftsman.
4. **Beardsley: ** Derived from the Old English words "beard" and "lea," meaning "meadow." It may have referred to someone who lived near a meadow where beards grew, or who had a long, flowing beard.
5. **Bedford: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the town of Bedford in Bedfordshire, England. The name itself is derived from the Old English words "bed" and "ford," meaning "a ford by a bed of reeds."
6. **Bellend: ** A Scottish surname derived from the word "bell," meaning "bell." It may have been given to someone who worked with bells, or who lived near a church or other building with bells.
7. **Bender: ** A surname of German origin, derived from the word "bender," meaning "one who bends." It may have been given to someone who worked as a blacksmith or other metalworker.
8. **Biggs: ** A surname of English origin, likely derived from the Old English word "bigge," meaning "bulge." It may have been given to someone who was large or who lived in a place with a prominent bulge.
9. **Blow: ** This surname comes from the Old English word "blow," meaning "to strike with a blow." It may have been given to someone who was known for their strength or who worked as a blacksmith.
10. **Bottom: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Middle English word "botme," meaning "bottom." It may have referred to someone who lived at the bottom of a hill or valley, or who worked in a cellar.
11. **Box: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "box," meaning "box." It may have been given to someone who made or sold boxes, or who lived near a box factory.
12. **Brown: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "brūn," meaning "brown." It may have been given to someone who had brown hair or eyes, or who wore brown clothes.
13. **Butt: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "butte," meaning "a mound of earth." It may have referred to someone who lived near a mound of earth, or who worked with earth.
14. **C******ock: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "coc," meaning "rooster." It may have been given to someone who owned a rooster, or who was known for being loud or arrogant.
15. **Coole: ** This surname comes from the Old English word "cole," meaning "coal." It may have referred to someone who worked with coal or who lived near a coal mine.
16. **Crabtree: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the words "crab" and "tree." It may have referred to someone who lived near a crabapple tree, or who was known for their crab-like personality.
17. **C******rotch: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Middle English word "crotch," meaning "the junction of the legs." It may have been given to someone who was known for their legs, or who lived near a place where people crossed paths.
18. **Cumming: ** This surname comes from the Old English word "cumming," meaning "coming." It may have been given to someone who was known for their arrival, or who was a traveler.
19. **D******ick: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "dic," meaning "ditch." It may have been given to someone who lived near a ditch, or who worked with ditches.
20. **Doolittle: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the words "doo" and "little," meaning "do little." It may have been given to someone who was lazy or who did not do much work.
21. **D******ouglas: ** A surname of Scottish origin, derived from the Gaelic words "dubh" meaning "black" and "glas" meaning "stream." It may have referred to someone who lived near a black stream, or who had black hair.
22. **E******aton: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the place name Eaton, which is derived from the Old English words "eata" meaning "to eat" and "tun" meaning "farm." It may have referred to someone who lived on a farm where people ate.
23. **E******ggs: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "egg." It may have been given to someone who worked with eggs, or who sold eggs.
24. **F******art: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "fǣr," meaning "journey." It may have been given to someone who traveled frequently, or who was known for their adventurous spirit.
25. **F******ister: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the word "fist." It may have been given to someone who was known for their strong fists, or who worked as a fighter.
26. **F******uck: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "fuc," meaning "to strike." It may have been given to someone who was known for their violent nature, or who worked as a blacksmith.
27. **G******ay: ** This surname comes from the Old English word "gæ," meaning "joy." It may have been given to someone who was known for their happiness or who brought joy to others.
28. **G******ood: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "god," meaning "good." It may have been given to someone who was known for their good deeds or who was a kind person.
29. **G******reen: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "grēne," meaning "green." It may have been given to someone who lived in a green place, or who had green hair or eyes.
30. **G******utter: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "gutter," meaning "a channel for water." It may have been given to someone who lived near a gutter, or who worked with gutters.
31. **H******am: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hām," meaning "home." It may have been given to someone who lived in a particular home or who was a homeowner.
32. **H******arris: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hari," meaning "hair." It may have been given to someone who had hairy hair, or who worked with hair.
33. **H******eath: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hēath," meaning "heath." It may have been given to someone who lived near a heath, or who was known for their heath-like features.
34. **H******ill: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hyll," meaning "hill." It may have been given to someone who lived on a hill, or who was known for their hill-like features.
35. **H******oles: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hol," meaning "hole." It may have been given to someone who lived near a hole, or who worked with holes.
36. **H******oover: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hōf," meaning "hoof." It may have been given to someone who owned a horse, or who was known for their horse-like features.
37. **J******ackson: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "jac," meaning "coat." It may have been given to someone who wore a jacket, or who worked as a tailor.
38. **J******ames: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Hebrew name "Jacob," meaning "supplanter." It may have been given to someone who was known for their supplanting ability, or who was a skilled negotiator.
39. **J******ohn: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Hebrew name "Yochanan," meaning "God is gracious." It may have been given to someone who was known for their grace or who was a devout person.
40. **K******ing: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "cyning," meaning "king." It may have been given to someone who was a king, or who was known for their royal qualities.
41. **L******ittle: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "lytel," meaning "small." It may have been given to someone who was small in stature, or who was known for their small size.
42. **L******ong: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "lang," meaning "long." It may have been given to someone who was tall, or who was known for their long hair or beard.
43. **L******ove: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "lufu," meaning "love." It may have been given to someone who was known for their love or who was a romantic person.
44. **M******an: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "man," meaning "man." It may have been given to someone who was a man, or who was known for their masculine qualities.
45. **M******cBride: ** A surname of Scottish origin, derived from the Gaelic words "Mac" meaning "son of" and "Brìde" meaning "bride." It may have referred to someone who was the son of a bride, or who was known for their bride-like qualities.
46. **M******oon: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "mōna," meaning "moon." It may have been given to someone who was born during a full moon, or who was known for their moon-like features.
47. **M******orris: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "mōr," meaning "moor." It may have been given to someone who lived on a moor, or who was known for their moor-like features.
48. **N******eedham: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English words "nēod" meaning "need" and "hām" meaning "home." It may have referred to someone who lived in a place where there was a need for something, or who worked in a profession that met a need.
49. **N******ewman: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the words "new" and "man." It may have been given to someone who was new to a place, or who was a newcomer.
50. **N******ight: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "niht," meaning "night." It may have been given to someone who was born at night, or who was known for their nocturnal habits.
51. **O******liver: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Latin word "oliva," meaning "olive." It may have been given to someone who owned an olive tree, or who was known for their olive-like features.
52. **O******utlaw: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "ūtlā," meaning "outlaw." It may have been given to someone who was an outlaw, or who was known for their rebellious nature.
53. **P******arrot: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "papegā," meaning "parrot." It may have been given to someone who owned a parrot, or who was known for their talkative nature.
54. **P******eter: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Greek name "Petros," meaning "stone." It may have been given to someone who was known for their strength or who worked as a stonemason.
55. **P******rick: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "priccan," meaning "to prick." It may have been given to someone who was known for their prickliness, or who worked as a tailor.
56. **P******uppet: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "puppe," meaning "doll." It may have been given to someone who was known for their small size, or who was a doll-like figure.
57. **R******aptor: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Latin word "raptor," meaning "seizer." It may have been given to someone who was known for their seizing abilities, or who worked as a hunter.
58. **R******eason: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "rǣson," meaning "reason." It may have been given to someone who was known for their intelligence or who was a logical person.
59. **R******ichard: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Germanic name "Rīc-heard," meaning "strong ruler." It may have been given to someone who was a ruler, or who was known for their strength.
60. **R******obinson: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the words "Robin" and "son." It may have been given to someone who was the son of a man named Robin, or who was known for their robin-like features.
61. **S******mith: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "smiþ," meaning "blacksmith." It may have been given to someone who worked as a blacksmith, or who was known for their blacksmith-like skills.
62. **S******now: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "snāw," meaning "snow." It may have been given to someone who lived in a snowy place, or who was known for their snow-like features.
63. **S******tevens: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Greek name "Stephanos," meaning "crown." It may have been given to someone who was a crown wearer, or who was known for their crown-like qualities.
64. **S******tick: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "sticca," meaning "stick." It may have been given to someone who worked with sticks, or who was known for their stick-like features.
65. **S******tone: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "stān," meaning "stone." It may have been given to someone who lived near a stone, or who was known for their stone-like features.
66. **S******traw: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "strēaw," meaning "straw." It may have been given to someone who worked with straw, or who was known for their straw-like features.
67. **T******aylor: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "tælere," meaning "tailor." It may have been given to someone who worked as a tailor, or who was known for their tailoring skills.
68. **T******homas: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Aramaic name "T'oma," meaning "twin." It may have been given to someone who was a twin, or who was known for their twin-like features.
69. **T******hunder: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "þunor," meaning "thunder." It may have been given to someone who was known for their thunderous voice, or who was a storm-like figure.
70. **T******urkey: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "turc," meaning "Turk." It may have been given to someone who was a Turk, or who was known for their Turkish features.
71. **U******nderwood: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the words "under" and "wood." It may have referred to someone who lived under a tree, or who worked in a forest.
72. **V******ander: ** A surname of Dutch origin, derived from the Dutch word "van der," meaning "of the." It may have been given to someone who was from a particular place, or who belonged to a particular family.
73. **W******ater: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "wæter," meaning "water." It may have been given to someone who lived near water, or who worked with water.
74. **W******hite: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "hwīt," meaning "white." It may have been given to someone who had white hair or eyes, or who wore white clothes.
75. **W******ilson: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the words "Will" and "son." It may have been given to someone who was the son of a man named Will, or who was known for their Will-like features.
76. **W******ood: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "wud," meaning "wood." It may have been given to someone who lived near a wood, or who worked with wood.
77. **W******right: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "wyrhta," meaning "worker." It may have been given to someone who worked as a craftsman, or who was known for their work.
78. **Y******oung: ** A surname of English origin, derived from the Old English word "geong," meaning "young." It may have been given to someone who was young, or who was known for their youthful appearance.
79. **Z******ucker: ** A surname of German origin, derived from the German word "Zucker," meaning "sugar." It may have been given to someone who worked with sugar, or who was known for their sweet nature.